I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.
After I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I develop into obsessive about studying every thing I can about it.
I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s model system, shade evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.
I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, fashionable garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Gentle Traditional in Kibbe’s model system.
These programs and labels may be useful as a result of they validate and ensure what we already find out about ourselves. They assist us identify complicated ideas and supply parameters that cut back evaluation paralysis.
However there’s one drawback.
My curiosity in these programs and character checks begins as excited curiosity after which rapidly slips into an all-consuming have to get every thing ‘proper.’ It’s straightforward for an curiosity to develop into an obsession (and because of Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).
So are these programs really useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘greatest’ or ‘proper’ determination?
Immediately I’m sharing what I’ve discovered from these programs, how we discover which means by them, and why I actually suppose we wish to label ourselves.
The rise of packing containers and labels
Let’s begin by speaking about totally different programs and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.
Forewarning: after studying this, you could fall into a few of your individual rabbit holes.
Kibbe Physique Varieties
Launched within the Nineteen Eighties, David Kibbe’s model system relies on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the standard fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and so forth.) however quite how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or quick you appear.
The concept is to decorate in a approach that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve at all times struggled to make clothes developments work, however you couldn’t determine why. Your Kibbe physique sort would possibly provide you with some clues.
You possibly can strive to determine which kind you might be utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself may give an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, individuals really feel they haven’t any alternative however to find out their very own sort, and there are subreddits to assist individuals determine it out.
It’s all good enjoyable whenever you’re getting began, however it may possibly rapidly develop into irritating whenever you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught making an attempt to comply with the rules.
Shade Evaluation
Shade evaluation (aka discovering your “greatest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full drive. Are you a winter, summer time, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, shiny or muted, gentle or deep?
They are saying understanding your colours will show you how to look harmonious in your garments, and also you gained’t should put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the be just right for you (the truth that that is primarily focused at ladies bettering their appears to be like is a subject for one more time).
The issue is that some individuals fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 totally different digital shade analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in numerous seasons.
I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me do this now that I find out about shade evaluation. The perfectionist in me needs an identical wardrobe.
Astrology
Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others by the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo at present than it was up to now.
Astrology may give you a greater understanding of who you might be and show you how to interpret your present section of life. Chances are you’ll know you’re a Leo, however are you aware the place the moon was whenever you have been born and the way that will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars presently is and the way that will have an effect on your motivation ranges?
Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”
Whereas astrology may be useful if you understand how to make use of it, utilizing it within the flawed approach can create destructive stereotypes and generalizations.
Human Design
There’s one other system associated to astrology known as Human Design which may also help you perceive the way to dwell your every day life with ease.
Relying in your sort, you possibly can decide whether or not one of the best use of your vitality is to be an initiator of latest concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues executed (Turbines), to comply with your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and replicate again what you study (Reflectors).
This one opened my eyes to the concept that our fashionable world tells everybody they must be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals aren’t designed to make use of their vitality that approach (maybe that is one motive why burnout and power fatigue are so prevalent at present).
Why we put ourselves in packing containers
Perhaps you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these programs have by no means piqued your curiosity.
Both approach, we people wish to put individuals into packing containers even once we say we don’t.
The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY looking for to know about myself by these programs?
For me, the attraction is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.
If I do know that I’m a sure physique sort within the Kibbe system and my shade season is True Autumn, perhaps I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t swimsuit me.
If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Kind Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.
Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who needs a algorithm to comply with as a result of I feel that may make my life simpler.
However is looking for an out of doors system as an inner guidebook the best way to go?
In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s publication titled ‘Programs vs. life’, he writes:
Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that would by some means dwell life for us, on our behalf, so that when we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t should face the messiness and discomfort of really displaying up, second after second.
If I actually dig deep, I need these programs to present me confidence in myself once I really feel unworthy.
Perhaps if I comply with the principles and tips completely, I gained’t should take care of any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.
However life doesn’t work that approach.
Changing into too reliant on an out of doors algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or good.
The hunt for self-understanding shouldn’t develop into a pursuit of perfection.
Are these programs pointless?
So, if we will’t depend on these packing containers and programs to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re utterly pointless?
I don’t suppose so. In spite of everything, they may also help us make sense of the world and discover which means in summary methods.
It’s completely comprehensible to desire a sense of which means in life since nobody needs to waste their time and vitality. However trying to find the proper system and making an attempt to comply with it to a T would possibly finish in wasted time and vitality anyway.
A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us once we’re not pushing, not trying to find solutions, and never making an attempt to make issues good. All you must do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both approach.
In the long run, making an attempt to depend on any system apart from your individual internal understanding will lead you additional away from what you need and wish.
Let your self comprise multitudes
Figuring out your character traits or discovering your good colours isn’t essentially going to alter your life or provide the confidence you search.
There’s nothing flawed with utilizing these sorts of programs and labels; you simply should method them from a spot of curiosity quite than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it might be time to let go.
For those who actually need to really feel assured in your self, settle for that you could be a number of issues without delay. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your individual tips for all times as a substitute.
I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I want to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.
