Dialog with Kristina Amelong, writer What My Brother Knew
First, are you able to inform us about your brother, Jay? What sort of child was he, and what was your relationship like with him?
Jay was extraordinary. Whilst a toddler, he had magnetic, wise-beyond-his-years vitality that would draw you in. He was curious, inventive, and had an uncommon means to attach deeply with the individuals and world round him. We have been shut in the best way siblings usually are—sharing secrets and techniques, squabbling, and constructing goals collectively—however there was additionally a reverence I held for him. I didn’t totally perceive it on the time, however Jay had a readability about life and demise that was uncommon, nearly otherworldly.
Jay had a stunningly correct prediction of his personal demise – he mentioned a inexperienced automotive would hit him whereas using his bike. Do you bear in mind the second you made the connection that what he had foreseen had truly unfolded? Did others consider you whenever you spoke about Jay’s premonition?
The second it occurred was surreal. I didn’t simply make the connection—it slammed into me like a wave. I bear in mind the small print, how eerily they matched what Jay had mentioned. It was each devastating and bizarrely affirming, as if he had identified one thing none of us might comprehend. At first, I hesitated to speak about it—the concept of a 13-year-old predicting his demise remains to be laborious to understand. Once I lastly did, individuals had blended reactions. Some believed me, whereas others thought it was simply grief taking part in tips with my reminiscence.
How did this prediction — and Jay’s passing — form your understanding of life, demise and the unexplained? How did it influence your philosophical and religious beliefs?
It utterly unraveled and rewove my understanding of existence. Jay’s premonition compelled me to query all the things I assumed I knew about actuality, time, and consciousness. Over time, it pushed me towards exploring philosophies like Donald Hoffman’s concept of Aware Realism, quantum physics, and the idea of a cosmic tapestry the place all the things is interconnected. It additionally deepened my appreciation for the thriller of life and demise—how they aren’t opposites however intertwined features of the identical infinite course of.
At one level in your life, you realized that you simply hadn’t talked about Jay’s demise in depth with anybody who truly knew him. What was it prefer to reconnect with buddies who grew up with him?
Reconnecting was each painful and therapeutic. It felt like opening an previous wound, however on the identical time, it allowed me to see Jay by others’ eyes. Listening to their tales and recollections created a fuller image of who he was and the way his presence touched these round him. It additionally jogged my memory that grief isn’t linear—it’s a shared expertise that evolves over time.
Do you consider in indicators and synchronicities, moments of perception from the universe? How can we acknowledge and interpret these indicators? How do you discern which indicators to embrace as significant and which to chalk as much as mere coincidence?
Completely. I consider indicators and synchronicities are the universe’s means of speaking with us, guiding us towards development and understanding. Recognizing them requires stillness, presence, and belief in your instinct. To discern their that means, I ask myself whether or not the expertise resonates deeply or aligns with one thing I’ve been considering. When a “signal” feels alive with that means, I embrace it as a present.
What function did nature play in your religious awakening? Is that this an method others can depend on in their very own journey by grief and emotional transformation?
Nature was and nonetheless is my sanctuary—a spot the place I really feel held and understood. Strolling on frozen lakes with my canine or tending flowers in my yard connects me to one thing bigger than myself. Nature’s cycles of development, decay, and renewal mirrored my very own therapeutic course of. I believe anybody can discover solace and transformation in nature. It reminds us of our place on this planet and the rhythms that unite all dwelling issues.
How does your ebook discover self love and compassion?
The journey of therapeutic from trauma and loss calls for self-love and compassion. My memoir is, in some ways, a love letter to my youthful self—acknowledging her ache, celebrating her resilience, and forgiving her struggles. By sharing my story, I hope to point out readers that self-compassion is the muse for deeper therapeutic and connection.
How did you keep motivated in your religious journey with out turning into cynical? Did you expertise moments of reluctance, doubt and frustration? How did you deal with that?
After all! There have been instances I felt misplaced, doubted my path, or wished to surrender—a few of these are within the memoir. I discovered to lean into these moments as an alternative of resisting them. Practices like contemplative writing, pictures, and connecting with supportive communities helped me navigate the uncertainty. Typically I used to be capable of meet a brand new trainer at a important second. I at all times tried to recollect the larger image: that development and transformation are attainable, even and particularly within the darkest instances, and each being is on an everlasting journey.
Why do you assume many individuals worry demise a lot? Ought to we?
I believe worry of demise stems from the unknown and from our attachment to the fabric world. However what if demise isn’t an finish, however a transition? Jay’s story taught me that demise holds a profound thriller—one which underscores the great thing about life. As a substitute of fearing it, we are able to view it as a trainer, inviting us to reside extra totally.
What do you assume occurs after we die? How did you come to that perception?
I consider consciousness continues in some kind, woven into the material of the universe. Jay’s premonition and the synchronicities I’ve skilled have proven me that there’s extra to existence than we are able to see or perceive. A lot is unknown, and my perception isn’t inflexible; it’s an evolving understanding, open to awe and discovery. I do know certainly that, as my trainer Dr. Marc Gafni says, we reside in an intimate universe and our tales are chapter and verse within the universe’s story.
Whereas penning this ebook, you discovered lots about your brother, his life and his demise. Are there nonetheless unanswered questions that linger in your thoughts?
Sure, and I believe there at all times shall be. Jay’s demise left me with questions that may by no means be answered, however I’ve discovered to seek out peace within the not-knowing. It’s within the house of thriller that we are able to join most deeply with the that means behind our existence.
What do you hope readers take away out of your ebook?
Jay. His story. I need readers to actually really feel and consider that every life is a part of a profound thriller, that who we’re issues. I hope readers really feel much less alone of their ache and extra related to the attractive and unknown qualities of life. I need them to see that therapeutic is feasible, that love transcends even the best tragedy, and that each loss, irrespective of how painful, has the potential to light up a path ahead.
How have you ever modified because you wrote the ebook?
Writing “What My Brother Knew” was a profound expertise, however since ending it, I’ve been reluctant to reread it. My writing has at all times felt like a ghost I’m afraid to fulfill—a mirrored image of my ache and resilience that feels too uncooked to revisit. For years, I averted it, afraid of being haunted by the feelings it would stir.
Once I lastly reread it, one thing shifted. As a substitute of worry, I felt reduction. I got here to re-embrace the profundity of holding Jay’s story alone for therefore a few years. Jay wished us to know what he knew—that his premonition, his life, and even his demise are presents he shared to awaken one thing in us. Now that the ebook is about to be revealed, I really feel like I’m not strolling alone anymore. Jay’s story not lives solely in my physique; it’s taken form within the type of a ebook and shortly it is going to reside within the palms and hearts of others. Sharing Jay with the world is bringing ever higher therapeutic.
