If You’re Afraid of Making a Large Life Change

“The one method to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, transfer with it, and be a part of the dance.” ~Alan Watts

I used to assume that stability was the important thing to happiness. Keep in a single place, construct a profession, nurture long-term relationships—these had been the pillars of a profitable life, or so I believed.

My life was a fastidiously constructed fortress of routine and familiarity. Get up at 6 a.m., commute to the identical workplace I’d labored at for a decade, come house to the identical house I’d lived in since faculty, rinse and repeat. It was protected. It was predictable. It was slowly suffocating me.

As I approached my fortieth birthday, I discovered myself more and more stressed. The partitions of my comfy life felt extra like a jail than a sanctuary. I’d scroll by way of social media, seeing mates and acquaintances embarking on new adventures, altering careers, and transferring to new cities, and I’d really feel a pang of envy combined with concern.

“I want I might do this,” I’d assume, shortly adopted by, “However what if all of it goes improper?”

It was throughout certainly one of these late-night scrolling periods that I got here throughout a quote from Alan Watts that might change all the pieces: “The one method to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, transfer with it, and be a part of the dance.”

I stared at these phrases, feeling as in the event that they had been talking on to my soul. What if, as an alternative of fearing change, I embraced it?

The subsequent morning, I wakened with a way of function I hadn’t felt in years. I made a decision to make a change—not a small one, however a seismic shift that might problem all the pieces I believed I knew about myself and my life. I used to be going to stop my job, promote most of my possessions, and journey the world for a 12 months.

The second I made this determination, I felt a mixture of exhilaration and sheer terror. What about my profession? My house? My relationships? The questions swirled in my thoughts, threatening to overwhelm me. However beneath the concern, there was a spark of pleasure that I couldn’t ignore.

I gave myself six months to organize. These months had been a whirlwind of planning, saving, and going through the reactions of family and friends. Some had been supportive; others thought I used to be having a midlife disaster.

My dad and mom had been significantly frightened. “However what about your future?” they requested, echoing the identical considerations they’d had once I switched majors in faculty.

Because the departure date drew nearer, my anxiousness grew. There have been moments once I severely thought of calling the entire thing off. What if I used to be making a horrible mistake? What if I couldn’t deal with the uncertainty?

It was throughout certainly one of these moments of doubt that I noticed one thing vital: The concern I used to be feeling wasn’t nearly this journey. It was the identical concern that had stored me trapped in a life that now not fulfilled me. If I gave in to it now, I would by no means break away.

So, I pushed ahead. I boarded that airplane with a backpack, a one-way ticket, and a coronary heart filled with each terror and hope. The primary few weeks had been difficult. I felt misplaced, not simply geographically however existentially. Who was I with out my job title, my routine, my acquainted environment?

However slowly, one thing magical started to occur. As I navigated new cities, tried new meals, and met individuals from all walks of life, I felt layers of my previous self peeling away. I found a resilience I by no means knew I had. Issues that might have despatched me right into a tailspin again house grew to become adventures and challenges to resolve. I realized to belief my instincts, to seek out pleasure within the sudden, and to embrace the unknown.

One significantly transformative second got here three months into my journey. I used to be mountain climbing within the mountains of Peru, scuffling with altitude illness and questioning my determination to try this trek.

As I sat on a rock, catching my breath and combating again tears, an aged native girl handed by. She smiled at me and mentioned one thing in Quechua that I didn’t perceive. However her smile and the light pat she gave my shoulder spoke volumes.

In that second, I noticed that kindness and human connection transcend language and tradition. I additionally realized that I used to be stronger than I ever gave myself credit score for.

Because the months handed, I discovered myself altering in methods I by no means anticipated. I grew to become extra open, extra curious, extra keen to strive new issues. I realized to dwell with much less and admire extra. The fixed motion and alter grew to become not simply tolerable however exhilarating. I used to be, as Alan Watts had mentioned, becoming a member of the dance of change.

But it surely wasn’t all clean crusing. There have been days of loneliness, moments of doubt, and instances once I missed the consolation of my previous life. I realized that embracing change doesn’t imply you by no means really feel concern or uncertainty. It means you are feeling these issues and transfer ahead anyway.

As my 12 months of journey neared its finish, I confronted a brand new problem: what subsequent? The considered returning to my previous life felt inconceivable. I used to be now not the one that had left a 12 months in the past. However the thought of continuous to journey indefinitely didn’t really feel proper both. I noticed I used to be craving a brand new form of stability—one constructed on the inspiration of flexibility and development I’d cultivated throughout my travels.

I made a decision to maneuver to a brand new metropolis, one I’d fallen in love with throughout my travels. I discovered a job that allowed me to make use of my previous expertise in new methods, with the pliability to proceed exploring the world. I made new mates who shared my love of journey and private development. I created a life that embraced change somewhat than feared it.

Trying again on this journey, I’m amazed at how far I’ve come. The one that was as soon as paralyzed by the thought of change now seeks it out as a supply of development and pleasure. Listed here are a number of the most vital classes I’ve realized.

1. Concern will not be a cease signal.

Concern is a pure a part of change, but it surely doesn’t have to manage you. Acknowledge it, perceive it, however don’t let it make your choices for you.

2. Discomfort is the place development occur.

The moments that challenged me probably the most had been additionally those that taught me probably the most about myself and the world.

3. Flexibility is power.

Having the ability to adapt to new conditions is much extra beneficial than making an attempt to manage all the pieces round you as a result of usually, the one factor you possibly can management is how nicely you adapt.

4. Much less is commonly extra.

Dwelling out of a backpack for a 12 months taught me how little I really should be joyful.

5. Change is fixed.

As a substitute of resisting change, studying to movement with it brings a way of peace and pleasure to life.

6. It’s by no means too late.

At forty, I believed I used to be too previous to seriously change my life. I used to be improper. It’s by no means too late to start out a brand new chapter.

If you end up feeling caught, craving for one thing extra however afraid to make a change, I encourage you to take that first step.

It doesn’t must be as dramatic as promoting all the pieces and touring the world (although I extremely advocate it when you can!). Begin small. Take a distinct path to work. Attempt a brand new passion. Have a dialog with somebody you wouldn’t usually discuss to. Every small change builds your resilience and opens you as much as new prospects.

Embracing change doesn’t imply your life will at all times be straightforward or that you simply’ll by no means face challenges. But it surely does imply that you simply’ll be residing absolutely, rising continuously, and experiencing the wealthy tapestry of what life has to supply.

Your life will not be a hard and fast path however a journey of fixed evolution. Embrace the adjustments, be taught from the challenges, and rejoice the expansion. The world is huge, life is brief, and the best adventures usually start with a single step into the unknown. So take that step. Be a part of the dance of change. You could be amazed at the place it leads you.